The incident that gave me the first pains of insecurity about my appearance occurred when I was in 8th grade.
I confided in a fellow classmate about how much I liked a girl in our class. He responded with the words that would forever be etched in my memory, “She’ll never like you back with all those ugly bumps on your face.”
Puberty is an awkward time for teenagers. Up until our pre-teen years, we rarely think about our appearance and it certainly isn’t intertwined with our self-esteem. Then there comes a day in a young man’s life, where he starts thinking about girls more than sports and friends.
But, then there comes a moment where our physical appearance is judge and acne feels like a death sentence. In my case, it lead to a complete meltdown and changed the course of my high school life.
No longer was I the “outgoing” personality that my friends and family had come to know. I became withdrawn and no longer wanted to be part of any social group. I started picking at my acne to try and get rid of them; little did I know they’d come back with a vengeance and leave ugly scars on my skin.
The Loneliness That Followed
As time went on, more kids started noticing these “ugly bumps” on my face too. I would sit by myself as boys and girls at school huddled together, looking over at me and then laughing to themselves.
This further fueled my desire to stay away from social groups. I never felt like I belonged in any of them, and I knew people were constantly talking about me behind my back. The less I interacted with others, the more they talked about me, and the more I wanted to withdraw.
My mother took me to dermatologists and gave me fashion magazines to help me tackle the problem. Despite her best intentions, she didn’t realize she was making me feel as though I was “less than” for having The Curse of Acne.
The Curse of Acne
The more I thought about the imperfections of my face, the more others noticed it, and this became a negative cycle which seemed to take over my life.
I was in pain often, and even when the spots were receding, they became very itchy. This affected my mood and my general demeanor, which further pushed away the people who tried to reach out to me.
I started obsessively poring over magazines given to me by my mother, hoping to find the magic bullet that had been evading me all this time. These magazines, which promised to help me “Get Rid Of Acne Forever” only dispensed generic advice such as avoiding greasy food, and using expensive lotions. As with most gullible kids my age, I didn’t realize the magazines only feature those products because they are paid to do so.
The magazines were also covered with models who had radiant, flawless skin and I coveted them with a bittersweet mix of jealousy and admiration as I picked at the pimples.
Self-shame is perhaps one of the strongest emotions that can hold us back from flourishing.
The Obsession Grows
At 18, I found myself in a highly dysfunctional relationship with a girl, let’s call her Tiffany, who would constantly make me feel like I was inferior to her. She behaved and talked as though she was doing me a favor by being in a relationship with me in the first place. I won’t go into the utterly horrible and demeaning things she said and did to me, but suffice to say that my non-existent self-esteem coupled with her narcissistic personality was a recipe for disaster.
At this point, I was spending several hours a day in order to manage my condition. I tried everything from applying toothpaste to my skin to drinking over five liters of water per day. I applied chemical-laden lotions and cut out all sugar-based foods from my diet, which was already dangerously low in fat.
I scrubbed, exfoliated, and even started getting facials. This not only took up several hours of my day, but a large part of my meager income, which I earned by being a busy boy at a local restaurant.
My skincare routines took up all my time, money, and energy, while my dead-end relationship depleted these resources even further.
The Nadir of My Existence
When “Tiffany” suggested I undergo some rather questionable and extortionately expensive skin treatment, I was hesitant. I couldn’t justify spending essentially all my savings, and then some, on something that could have very well failed and left me with scars – or worse – for the rest of my life.
Her suggestion for the treatment quickly turned into an ultimatum. I can still vividly recall the morning that changed my life. She called me and said she could no longer be with me if I didn’t go ahead with the treatment. She accused me of “not even trying” to change my life for the better. Her lack of recognition towards my efforts was the final straw and something had to give.
She left me, and her departure marked a huge milestone in my life. The break-up was deeply painful, and I hated acne with a deep passion.
Knowledge is Power
It’s funny how looking back, we realize that our lowest points can be the springboards from which we can launch ourselves into taking action and improving our lives for the better. Having nothing to lose enables us to take greater risks.
I decided I could no longer let acne control my life. Instead, I had to grab the reins and become the master of my fate and my skin.
How I Inadvertently Broke The Curse
Though I wasn’t a religious person, the Serenity prayer stuck with me when I read it somewhere.
“Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.”
Since I couldn’t get rid of my acne, I channeled my energy on other areas of life. I write this story not to give you some “tips and tricks”, but rather to help you eliminate that mindset and accept that you cannot change your condition by using some kind of magical concoction on your skin.
This is an invitation to take control of the things you can change. Here are some ways you can begin to drop the weight of this curse, both physically and emotionally.
1. Exercise Regularly
This was the first call to action that I implemented into my life. I had read about both mental as well as physical benefits of regular exercise and made sure that I went into the gym day after day, no matter how tired, depressed, or lazy I felt.
I don’t know if it was the flushing out of toxins due to lots of sweating, the increased blood circulation, or the general sense of well-being and exercise-induced endorphins, but I started looking and feeling much better than I ever had before.
I started caring less about the way I looked, and focused more on how I felt. I cannot stress enough how important exercise is for anyone who is looking to take positive steps towards treating acne.
2. Meditate Every Morning
The benefits of meditation are touted by everyone from stressed-out entrepreneurs to fitness enthusiasts. I decided to make this a habit. I would spend at least ten minutes sitting quietly with my eyes closed. This felt very uncomfortable at first, so I decided to use some guided meditation tapes.
This practice helped instill a sense of equanimity in my life. I felt like I could take on anything. Tasks like paying the bills, answering phone calls, or opening the mail no longer seemed daunting.
3. Eat Healthy Fats
Although I thought I was already eating “healthy” because my diet was low in fat and sugar, I was wrong. It turns out that fat not only helps keep our hormones in check, but it also facilitates the absorption of several types of vitamins and minerals.
I incorporated coconut oil, olive oil, and even butter into my diet in reasonable amounts, especially at breakfast. I noticed how having a breakfast that constitutes of protein and fat made me feel energetic and focused.
4. Eating Plenty of Vegetables
I made sure I got some greens at every meal, be it at home or at a restaurant. Lettuce, spinach, cauliflower, and broccoli didn’t taste good to me until I started eating them regularly, even if I didn’t want to.
After a couple of weeks of eating these veggies, I got “bored” of them and decided to skip them. Within a day, I found myself craving them again. How on earth was that possible?
Apparently, this is not uncommon in people who change up their diets for the better. Your body recognizes the nutritional benefits and “signals” you to nourish yourself some more.
5. Remove Toxic People From Your Life
This is arguably one of the most important steps in overcoming any challenges you may set out to conquer. They say that you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. Surround yourself with those who empower, motivate, and support your goals.
If you have someone in your life who constantly brings you down and makes you feel badly about yourself, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship and get some distance. Bring people into your life who are passionate, encouraging, and loving, and you’ll soon find yourself becoming happier and healthier.
Conclusion
As for me, within a few months of incorporating these simple yet highly effective habits into my life, I found the acne clearing up. The funny thing is, at that point I didn’t even care about how I looked, because for the first time in my life, I felt truly at peace with myself.
I sincerely hope that readers who are in a similar predicament help themselves by taking charge of their lives and taking the steps I did. Not only will it make you a healthier and happier person, but it will also teach you to overcome obstacles, build self-esteem, and excel in all areas of your life.